Monday, March 11, 2019

Turning 9

On that fateful, tragic day of March 23, 2012, Olivia was 34 days shy of her ninth birthday.  We were already in the midst of planning her party.  She had decided on a movie party.  She wanted to take 9 friends to see the newest Disney Planet Earth  movie, "Chimpanzee".    Movie theater was booked.

Now, let's flash forward to 2019.......

Ainsley is turning 9!

The anxiety of this birthday is unbelievably stressful for me.  Ainsley, on the other hand is thrilled that she has an upcoming birthday.  Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled too but it's all too familiar.  We've already planned the birthday party (NOT at the movie theater).

In my grieving mind, we've already gotten over one optical, Ainsley is now 17 days closer to turning nine, but the anxiety is still there.  I have to tell myself that Ainsley has a different fate than her big sister.

As I'm writing this, I just realized that on March 23, 2019- it will be 34 days until Olivia's sweet 16.

I am not writing this because I am searching for petty.  I write because it's therapeutic.

A word of wisdom.:

Be kind to yourselves.  Do something for YOU.